Happy Birthday Mom! I am one lucky son!

So today, my Mother, Jenifer Andrus (Summerhays) turns one year older. I thought of just posting on her wall on facebook, but I felt she deserved more of an honor than just a sentence. I would like to give a little overview on how she truly makes me one of the luckiest men in St. George, Utah, if not the planet!

Many of you know my mother as a teacher at Lava Ridge Intermediate and already know she is one of the sweetest people you have met. She has made a reputation of being a caring personality who puts others first well before herself. She finds joy in making others happy and successful which I am sure is part of the reason she chose to be a teacher as her career. However, what you probably see in the classroom doesn't truly do her justice on how much she truly cares about one another 'cough, cough' especially me..'cough'. She sacrifices so much and if it makes people around her happy, she is happy. When she is happy, she has one of the sweetest grins that makes me want to give her a big hug, even though I try not to overdo it.

For me personally, I feel like she went through a lot more than, no offense, most mothers would have needed to go through to raise me up to what I have become today. In one of my previous entrys, I told about how I had to be taken to the crisis center for running away from home. About after that time, she had to make a decision, which she confessed to me recently, was one of the most difficult choices of her life and that was to transition from being under her primary custody, and making my Dad my primary caregiver. At that time, I always responded better to my Dad than my mother.

Before, I get to carried away and make this about myself, that is just one example of sacrifice she had to go through to allow me to develop into what I became. I know I sometimes say that I wish she wasn't as protective as she is, but all in all, that leaves little doubt that she truly loves and cares about me and wants nothing more for me than to be successful.

I use to be a very selfish son toward her and didn't look up to her very highly, but now adays, I love her to death and am super pleased to be her son. I am still a selfish son in a lot of ways. Much of our conversations now adays are about me going to the University of Utah next semester and looking back at what I used to be and how amazing it is to be where I am at now. I often make bragful questions like "would you have guessed I would be going to the U of U by age 22"? She would often respond, "I was just hoping you would get through high school"! I don't brag to her to say I am better or more amazing than my brothers. I just get so happy to make her proud, and to hear her say she is proud of my success fills me with tons of joy.

One of the hardest things of going to the U of U is I will not be having her live just 10 miles away from me, and I know it is hard for her to imagine that as well, but her support for me will make it OK. I am sure we will call or skype often to update each other how things are going with each other as well as updating her on my progress as a Ute.

Happy Birthday Mom!

What Coaching the Snow Canyon Girls Has Meant to Me

Last night, February 21st of 2015, was a very difficult night for me to embrace. Sure we lost to Juab and our season is now over, but for me personally, the most difficult thing was accepting that all this is in the past now. I often rave about my potential landing at the University of Utah and hoping to get hired up at Highland High to further my career goal of becoming a Severe Special Education Teacher but the idea that this was my last night being a coach of these girls was really gut wrenching. I had a very difficult time sleeping last night because of this. Getting dropped off home from that bus, and then staring at it as it drove away brought me to tears. I stared at it until I could no longer see it plus a few more seconds. It reminded me of Senior Sunset, giving me the idea that once it was out of sight, I was no longer an Assistant Girls Basketball Coach.

Often times when we went on the road, the girls usually scream to one of us coaches to come sit in the back and tell them a story. I normally pretended not to notice kind of as a form of teasing, but on the way home, I had to go back there with them. They were like a bunch of little sisters to me which says something considering I have never had a sister. Nothing against Brennan, J.J and Parker who is the greatest set of brothers anyone can hope to have.

Coaching the Lady Warriors is truly up there on the list of greatest experiences I have ever had in my life. It is up there with my senior year in high school in a heartfelt and emotional level. When I first got hired at Snow Canyon, I knew I wanted to help out with basketball so I went to Coach James Brown first. I admit at the time, I was sort of biased about the genders in the sport. I wanted to coach Boys Basketball because I felt like Girls basketball wasn't competitive enough. Coach Brown did offer me a spot on the sophomore staff but the problem with that was they practiced at 7 AM and that would have interfered with my college class schedule.

Then I went to Coach Dan Roden who had just gotten hired to be the Head Girls Coach after Coach Jensen had moved on. I was more nervous going to him then Coach Brown because Roden was a freshmen teacher of mine and I knew at one time, he viewed me as one of his most difficult students. I had only hoped that he was able to look past that after seeing what I had done at this point. When he gave me a spot on the Varsity staff, I was thrilled.

Besides the love of the sport, the greatest thing that being apart of that staff was the relationships I built. I definitely tried to connect to each player at a personal level and I believe I succeeded at that because chances are they'll still call me "Coach T". They were able to talk to me about more things than just basketball. Sidney Bott, Mada Mooring, Nikenna Durante and Sydney Hoskins often enjoyed teasing me about any relations I had with a girl which I probably often responded with "oh shut up" in a funny and sarcastic tone which made them laugh. Hoskins and her younger sister Brielle both said I was like a clone of there cousin which is interesting. Makes me kind of want to meet him.

Kaylee Brooks and I had some funny moments. She liked to tease me or give some kind of cool signal. I remember one of the weirdest moments when I was running the practice clock and Mada and her decided to get down on there knees and start mewing at me.

Or what about that time I was playing defense on Natalie Coulam and she totally bulldozed me over and every girl in that gym fell on the floor laughing like I just pulled the funniest stunt they had ever seen. Every one from Ashley Nyborg, to Grace Walton, to even more quiet ones like Sedale Sanden were just dying on the floor laughing..

I could remember hundreds of heart felt memories but the biggest picture this had created was just amazing. I feel those girls taught me even more than they could think. They taught me about being a little looser in life and not taking everything so seriously. I feel I am a much better person and happier since I got to coach them in this sport.

I can honestly say now that when I get hired at what ever other school, if they give me the choice of working with the Girls or the Boys team, I am definitely picking the girls team. Nothing against men but I just feel like they're the kind of team I need to be on. The girls were very talented at turning moments into something about more than just competition and basketball. And I will admit, the girls are just too much fun. Sorry guys!! Haha

So like I said, this was one of the all time greatest experiences I could have ever had. I wish it could have lasted a few more years but I would probably be feeling the same emotion anyway and just like they would have to move on after graduation, which our great Christee Wilson is doing this year, I need to be willing to move on to other experiences as well. It is tough but I am forever proud to just have the experience. I hope the best for all of them and there future and hopefully I will get to see how life ends up for at least some of them. Thank Goodness for Facebook!!!

Book Review: Shaq Uncut

I just finished what is probably the 40th sports biography I've read in my life. As most of my friends know, I have this undying obsession and respect for the NBA. I consider many of my role models to be NBA Players or Coaches. Everyone knows I am a huge San Antonio Spurs fan who has an extreme level of respect for Tim Duncan. In fact my Uncle Josh just recently asked me "why on Earth are you reading about Shaq? Don't you know how many championships Duncan may have had if Shaq wasn't there"? I responded "I consider him to be my idols biggest rival at the peak of his career. It was a classic match up to have Duncan vs O'Neal!! I found it rather intriguing to read about him for that reason aside from the fact he's probably my all time favorite Center.

The True Superman of the NBA has taught me a lot of great lessons reading his autobiography. I remember all those times I called him out for being "lazy" or a big jerk or something along those lines but when I read his perspective through this book, it really humbled me that no matter how big a fan I am, I never really know the reason. Sometimes when a player says something mean and selfish on the media, it could be that players way of raising the competition. It's not always because of hatred or hanger even though Shaq admitted to having a few of those. That's the beauty I learned from him though is he is human. He is a generous man who loves to brighten others days. He does know how to put time in for himself as well. For a celebrity who racks in a bunch of dough, this guy has, in my opinion, a great balance of self worth and not forgetting that he wouldn't have gotten as far as he did with out support of his friends and family. I found it rather amazing how much respect he had for his adopted father "Sarge"! Sarge, although rough around the edges sounded like a great man.

To be honest, I had such enjoyment reading his autobiography that I had a tear come out of my eye when I shut the book and it was finished. Like I said, I have read probably 40 or so sports biographies in my lifetime but this one will be near and dear to my heart. It definitely increased what was already a "giant" respect for the "Big Aristotle"! I would definitely recommend this book for any sports fan. It is no doubt on of the top 3 best I have ever read.

My Evolution: My Childhood vs Who I am now! Long Story so be prepared!

If you asked me what my opinion is of myself right now, I would say I'm the luckiest man alive. Honestly I feel I'm a strong-willed, enthusiastic, motivated, and goal-oriented person. Everything I do is for a reason. The biggest reason is to help me rise up, and take challenges that as a child, not many people thought I could ever do. Almost everyday, I think of something I'm doing now that back then, people thought was hopeless for me.

When I was about age 3, I was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism along with ADHD. I wasn't very social. I wanted friends but I was afraid to try and I just felt personally I didn't know how to please people so I hid away most of the time during recess. Sometimes even in class, I would hide behind the backpacks which you can imagine caused a lot of drama for the classroom. I was selfish. Everything was about me. I never tried to see what it was like through another persons eyes. I was very lazy. I hardly tried at all to get class done. My report card often wasn't something Mom or Dad could be proud of. It caused more worry then good. I looked forward to going to speech and resource mainly because I didn't have to do much work in those classes and I trusted that my resource teacher genuinely cared about me, even though I lied to her about stealing her Math Book Answer Key. You can bet that earned me a nice sitting in the principles office.

At home, I was very mischievous and playful. I never wanted to go to bed. I just wanted to stay up and play Super Nintendo or Lego's and build Star Wars battle ships. I still tell friends about those times I would purposely get my brother J.J. in trouble just to get a good laugh through his misery. A great one was when I woke up about 6 and I sneaked to the food closet and ate half a bag of tortilla chips. J.J. woke up not to long after that and started joining me. Within a minute, I told him to go a head. Eat as much as you want, and then I went back in my room until Mom and Dad woke up. You can guess what happened next. It's moments like those that could be the roots of why J.J. and I have a sibling rivalry even though we get a long much better now than we used to.

Fast forward a few years to about age 10. This was about the time I truly started being trouble, at least in my opinion. I was always angry. I hated life. I had suicidal thoughts. I was constantly going through the thought of "whats the point of living anyway". I felt lonely and that no one truly cared about me, except maybe my 4th grade teacher, Mr. Randall and I did like my 5th grade teacher Mr. Furse. I still classify him as probably the funniest teacher I ever had. It didn't take much to set me off. One moment in that class, I did something embarrassing and the whole class laughed at me. I can't remember what I did but I remember I hulked up and screamed, running out of the classroom forcing my teacher to chase after me. I was faster than him. During that time a girl with a broken arm was walking out of the office and said "hi Taylor" and without even thinking I punched her in the broken arm and kept running. She cried hard as you would imagine. I still wish I could remember who she was and see her so I could tell her I'm sorry.

 If I saw Mom share a kiss with someone, I took that as "you love him more than me". I'd scream, go to my room and lie in the closet. I would talk to my blanket who was my imaginary friend about how terrible people are and I'd pretend that he completely understood me. That blanket was my best friend for too long. I even had a name for it. Snoozy was his name. If I didn't go to my room to vent off, I went into this drain pit in our backyard supposedly to wait to get bitten and killed by a snake because someone told me snakes lived down there and they'd eat me if I waited long enough. I never stayed under for more than 5 minutes.  The worst day though was when Mom made Chicken and Rice which was my most hated dish at the time and I screamed, "That's it Mom. I'm running away!! You obviously made that because you hate me and don't care about me. If you really loved me you would've bought Pizza!!!" Yes I had the complete wrong idea of what love was. I thought love mean't if someone felt that way about me, they would be my personal slave and be happy to give me whatever I wanted.

I did end up running away, at least as far as what felt like a couple miles. I carried my wooden toy sword with me basically to send the message, don't mess with me and I ran from the bottom part of Hurricane a few blocks from where Lin's is located up to about the entrance of La Verkin at a bridge where I originally thought of jumping off of to kill my self. When I got there, I was extremely exhausted and started laying down on the sidewalk. I felt like fainting. A minute or so later, a woman in a red car pulled over and asked me if I was OK. I told her I was lost and didn't know where I was, which was a complete lie. She offered to let me hitch with her and she drove me to the police station and had me tell the officer everything. She left as soon as the officer gave her permission to go do her business and he'll figure things out so he asked me questions. The first one was obvious. "What's your name?" I responded "Steve Smith". I told him I was lost and didn't know how to get home. He then asked me "Does your home have a number?" I said yes and I told him something random. He then said "a phone number should only have 7 or ten digits. Will you tell me again?" I think it was right then he got suspicious that I was lying to him. I told him a random 7 digit number starting with 652. He called the number and talked a little bit. As soon as he hung up, he said "Do you know who that was? That was the Holdaway's! Is your name really "Steve Smith"?" I told him yes. He then walked me into what looked like a meeting room with a big table and a bunch of chairs. In that room on the wall was a radio which cops listened to in case something goes wrong. He told me to sit in a chair until he gets things figured out, so I did. I listened to the radio because it was the only exciting thing going on in there. One moment at about 20 minutes, I heard the radio say "Well we just got a call about a boy who ran away. His name is Taylor Walters and his mom is Jenifer Summerhays." I froze and was like "oh no. I hope he didn't hear that." Within minutes he walked in the room and asked in a serious tone, "Your name is Taylor isn't it?" I responded no. How could you think that?" He had Mom enter the room and she was crying up a storm. The officer let me have a choice. "Either you can go back home and be nicer to your mother and never run away again or you can take a trip to the Crisis Center. It's your choice but I recommend you go home." I replied screaming at the top of my lungs, " I don't care!!! I just want to get away from this stupid mother of mine!!" The cop gave a sigh and said "OK stand up and put your hands behind your back." I had no idea what he was doing until he locked me in handcuffs and then started walking me to his cop car. Having handcuffs behind my back while sitting in that car was one of the most uncomfortable positions I had ever dealt with.  As soon as I walked in the crisis center they released the handcuffs and my wrists were so sore they had red rings around them. The people had me sit in a chair for about 30 minutes until they let me in my room for the night. I asked a man "when can I get up and do stuff?" and he told me when ever I wanted. I slept for a good hour then came out about midnight and right away the guy said "Why are you out?" I responded "you said I could get up and do things whenever I wanted to." He said "not outside your bedroom. Go back in now." I immediately crawled back onto my bed and I had tears out of my eyes hard. I missed my Mom. I felt so tremendously guilty and broken apart. 3 days later they let me go home. The dude who released me was kind and happy that I was excited to go home. Mom was excited to have me back as well. We gave a big hug and hoped for better things to come from that experience. She did mention I was lucky Dad was on vacation or that experience would've been even worse, but all I could feel was that I was very sorry. Amazingly though I was still a jerk when I got home but I did promise never to run away again and I kept that. I cut the wires off my brothers Karaoke Machine, I kicked down my older brothers door, and I abused our cat doing things like throwing her down the stair well, holding her in the fridge for a few minutes, etc. Mom and Dad eventually agreed that Dad would be my primary care taker and I'd only visit Mom once a week. Sometimes two weeks.

For a few years I learned some harsh lessons. My Dad will always be considered my biggest hero for that. He stuck by and taught me life while almost everyone else already quit on me. I did listen to him much better than I ever did Mom. I always wanted to please my Dad while around Mom, I was in the mindset of I'm not scared of you. You're too hard on me. I always had that connection that I wanted to please Dad no matter what and I think it's just I felt him and I had a lot in common. I could talk about sports with him and I loved watching WWE with him. It was also fun to watch him play video games and race him in Mario Kart. As much fun and connection Dad and I felt we had he also had a no tolerance policy. His deal was basic stuff like if I lived with him I will shower everyday, I will not play video games until my chores were done as well as my homework. Mom had the same policy with the video games but again I listened to Dad easier. He wasn't afraid to tell me off if I was being a butt-head and that may have been the other reason I listened to him was he knew how to intimidate when I needed to be intimidated. I could spend hours writing stories of hard learning experiences he put me through but I don't need to go that deep.

Now at age 14. I was starting my Freshmen year at Snow Canyon Middle School. I had been through a lot and I was more disciplined but I was still a lonely and shy kid. I ate lunch alone or I'd sit with teachers. I was often depressed because I felt I didn't have many friends. This is where my life truly began changing. Within a few weeks of the 1st day of school people were already talking to me. One changing moment was when there was a dance competition during lunch and a guy who would later be a dear friend told me "Taylor go Dance in there. You'll do great!" I was hesitant but at the same time couldn't help but think "out of all people, he's asking me to go in there. I had never been asked to join a dance before." So I did and I ended up getting 2nd place losing to Sahara Buehner. She ended up being the first girl I ever slow danced with. There was a free school dance late one evening and I was just saying, I doubt anyone will want to dance with me any way. Sahara spoke up and said "I'll dance with you" and she seemed really happy to do it. She has forever gratitude from me for that even though she may not know it. You can bet a lot of my friends were like "did you kiss her?" and I of course said no. I felt like the life of the party. Girls every where were putting flower necklaces over me and all the boys would be like "Woohh Taylor! You've got crushes!"

When November came I tried out for the Freshmen basketball team. This was the defining moment of what changed me as a person from shy and doubtful to outgoing and hopeful. I was in bad shape. Even though I was short and one of the slowest people on the team, Coach Dwain Schallenberger accepted me on the team. We still laugh about that moment when in our post try-out interview, he asked me "Do you think you made the team?" I quickly responded excitedly "YES!". Him and Boyd Livingston smiled and said you are on this team and I was so happy. It was the happiest moment of my life at the time. Later at Cross Creek which is this rehab school we played and were losing hard. Coach D but me in the last minute and told me to shoot it. I attempted my first shot as a basketball team player and I made it!! When the buzzer went off, the opposing crowd started yelling "14! 14! 14! 14! 14! 14!" I didn't realize they were cheering for me until my dear friend Preston Root told me,"I think they're cheering for you Taylor!" Jordan Bozarth said "go walk to them."  So I did and they surrounded me like I was some kind of celebrity and lifted me on there shoulders. I ate it up and posed as I was being carried from one side of the gym to the other. I was in a heavenly peaceful state of emotion like I had never been before. Even though score wise we lost badly, we couldn't help but feel like we won, especially me.

Coach D from that point would turn into one of my biggest heroes ever. He was like the big brother I never had and I still consider him a big brother to this day. If it wasn't for him, I doubt I would be coaching right now.

I would become an assistant coach at age 15 alongside him for two seasons. I would also be a mascot, a nominee for the Spirit of Sport award, get voted Most Warrior Spirit and be a participant in the Mr. Warrior competition as well as the Warrior Olympics. The moment that shined on me most though was on Senior Night, I think Wane Kittrell called me down to the center of the gym. There was no one standing by me. It was just solo. He started telling my story about how I over came adversity in many ways and always kept my head hi. James Brown walked up and had me sign the game ball and the crowd gave me standing ovation that lasted like 30 seconds to a minute. I wept and couldn't help but feel I didn't deserve it that far although pretty much every one else would disagree with me. I was very humbled by that experience. I never took people for granted again and I feel a sense of gratitude and respect for that school and all who work there. Even now I feel I owe to society to become the best person I can be because now I know they genuinely want me to become that. That is one of my biggest motivations to be better everyday alongside the competitive desire to go further than any doubters would predict.

I came from a kid to who doctors and teachers said would be Dependant, probably won't move out of the house till a later time than most, predicted to be not very successful, and hopeless to a man who is motivated, achieving his goals very well for someone his age, and a bright future. Even I can't believe how much I've changed. When I tell my childhood story to people, they almost always respond "I can't believe that was you Taylor. I always thought you were just a great kid your whole life." Even I can't believe that was me at one point. That is why I feel like I'm living a dream and in heaven on Earth everyday because I have seen it from the other end and I with no doubt much prefer this. I am always grateful for what I have now and will never allow myself to be wish ful for things I don't have yet. People sometimes ask me "you don't have a girlfriend or a car and you don't relax very often. You're always working?? How can you be as happy as you are day after day.." I respond it's just because I wouldn't have it any other way because I truly know what it's like to have almost nothing.

I feel that way physically as well. When I run and jump it feels like I'm flying because I did have a year and a half where I couldn't walk without falling. That's also a reason I don't mind not having a car right now and just walking everywhere because I've seen what its like to not be able to walk and I much rather prefer walking than not being able to. Every step has a feeling of greatness because of that. When I play basketball it's heavenly because every movement I do in basketball was impossible at one point so my passion grew even stronger for the game because of that.

The point I'm trying to make is I am eternally grateful for what I have now and the reason I am who I am today is because of my experiences of yesterday and beyond. I'm not trying to brag about my rise of becoming who I am but I want people to know that no matter how low your life may seem, you can always climb up to something far greater. It just takes a few things.

Taylor Walters

1. Belief and confidence in your abilities and talents
2. Be grateful everyday for what you have and don't worry about what you don't have at the moment.
3. Be excited for what's to come and use that as a source of motivation to keep climbing that virtual mountain we call life.
4. When things go bad, just remember what you're grateful for and use it as a learning experience rather than a reason to hate your life. This is a common mistake. It's easy to run away from a problem and get sad and depressed from it but I believe it can always be turned into a happy thought when you choose to learn from it. You'll get better because of it and that at least to me gets me excited because I always want to be my best and even go beyond that.
5. Appreciate the people who have stuck by you no matter what happened. I understand for some of us, this step can be hard, so if you literally feel alone, then just hope and be grateful that there is someone out there that wants the best for you and is excited for your future, regardless of all the mistakes you have committed.
Here are pics of people who I truly appreciate. Mind that I do have more than this but I have to respect that some may rather not be posted on here. These are basically my family and people I know that have had a significant impact that don't mind knowing they're appreciated.

My mom, my brothers and Me! 

Top:Robert my stepfather
Middle from Left to right: J.J. Mom, and Brennan
Lowest: Cameron my stepbro

Jon Graf and Me

My Brother Brennan and Me

Coach Dwain Schallenberger

6. Always remember to forgive yourself and others for the trials you've gone through. Definitely forgive yourself and I promise this gets easier as you practice it especially when you learn to use your past regretful moments as learning opportunities. Forgive others for not believing in you and for whatever reason and just choose to see the beauty in them rather than the ugly. There is beauty in everyone if you search and think about it. One common beauty I find is the fact is that a person is him/ her self. I don't want to wish someone was different than who they are because you're changing the thing that defines them and that's not very beautiful.
7. Don't ever wish you were something more. Make your self something more by making goals and confidently achieving them while being happy for who you are now.
8. Don't ever let others decide what your potential in life is. Decide for yourself where and how far you desire to go and don't give yourself a virtual ceiling. Keep staying motivated and keep rising up.



These steps should be used daily and not just once in a while. It will get easier because eventually it becomes habitual. You will be happy naturally because you've trained your mind to think like that everyday. Be grateful for who you are and never tell your self you wish you could live like someone else. It's GREAT to use others as role models but don't be jealous and wishful for what they have.

I'm sorry this was such a long article but I felt it was my responsibility to share this to whoever wants to take this as a source of motivation to get better and be happy for who they are. Thanks all of you and know I truly do appreciate each and every person that comes into my life. Even the ones that hurt me because those that hurt me made me stronger and taught me something and the ones who love me and support me are my sources of motivation to be proud and grateful for who I am.

I Can Be a Hero!

I was just watching Spider-Man on Netflix. A lot of childhood memories came with that movie, but just watching it got me thinking as many things often do. I tried to connect it to my own life and a sense of pride and motivation kicked in. The feeling of being proud of what I've been becoming, and the motivation to keep getting even better because I know I can.

There was one question that hit my mind as soon as the movie ended. I hear a lot of people saying they need a hero in there live's whether it's God, a spouse, or a close friend. How many times do we tell ourselves, "I want to be the hero in people's lives" and not just to one person but to society, regardless of age, religion, or color. The reason I feel proud is I realized everyday I've been becoming that kind of person, and I have loved the relationships and connections I've built because of it.

Everyday, I feel like a hero. I feel like a hero when I work in the Special Ed Department trying to be a role model, friend or sort of a big brother to every student I have the privilege of interacting with. I feel like a hero when I go to whatever sport is going on at the moment by being an example of love, enjoyment of life, hard work, and showing people that if you believe you can do anything, it is possible. The only thing that truly holds us back is our own will and confidence. If I told myself right now, I couldn't get math finished before it's too late, I just built a virtual wall that will hold me back until I tell myself "I can conquer this". Training my own mind to never say I can't do something has made me become a better person each and everyday. Working in Special Ed, while going to college full time, and coaching a sport is a lot to do. I've been able to do it however because I've trained myself to believe I can be great.

I truly feel grateful when I hear words of gratitude from other people. It makes me feel like even more of a hero and that it's not going unrecognized. Just the other day, Grace Walton told me something that made me feel like a hero. I can't remember the exact words but I remember how I felt and it was simply amazing. I love it when I roam through the halls of that high school and everyday at some point I hear someone yelling "COACH T"! I feel loved and respected and when I look back and can truly feel I've earned that, it feels incredible. It at the same time can be a bit humbling because I also realize I'm still just another human who's had his fair share of struggles and it's my duty and gift that because I've overcome so much, that I need to pass that on and hope they can become just as confident and realize anything is possible if they believe they can accomplish whatever goal they have in mind.

I may not be the guy roaming around with a cute girlfriend(though I look forward to that day when I do), or the best grades on campus, but that is OK as long as I'm happy where I'm at and try to get better everyday. I love being there for people. I love going around and feeling like every corner of the city, there is some one there I can rely on but be a reliance toward as well. I like being the big brother in peoples lives. I truly am excited to see where this goes twenty years from now and am still amazed where I'm at today. The possibilities are limitless. I just have to keep making the right choices and have confidence in myself that I am making the right choices. We talk about how there's a ceiling above us that we can only go up so far before we've reached or potential limit, but I've learned through experience that ceiling is all up to you. If you believe you can reach higher, you definitely can. It doesn't matter what any one else thinks. It's all up to you.

I do believe however it is good to hear from other's who love and respect you because it can be a reassuring feeling that you're doing things right and motivation to keep getting better. However if someone says something negative towards me, I'll swat that information away and won't take it deeply because I want to keep getting confident. I'll forgive that person after wards. They occasionally though can make me stronger, if I can try to look at how I can fix that. I won't use it as an insult though. I don't have to use it as a way to degrade my confidence.

So am I a hero? That's up to you guys to decide. Am I proud of what I'm becoming? That for sure is a yes and I'm excited to see what it turns into.

Happy 19th Birthday Brennan

Today is January 26th 2014 which marks the 19th birthday of my brother Brennan. I must say I am very proud to have him as huge part of the family. This guy knows how to have fun. He's a very talented singer and dancer. No wonder he gets all the ladies. I'm just a basketball coach!! 

One of my favorite memories of him is when he performed as Chip in Beauty and the Beast. It was fun to see his head in that cup and very heartwarming when he ran out to Mrs. Potts yelling, "mama, mama, I'm human again!!!"

Brennan has been in a great number of other performances such as Titanic the Musical, All Shook Up and has had the lead role as Oliver in Oliver Twist! 

He never was that much into sports as I was but he still managed to make conversation about it. He still didn't mind watching the games with J.J. and I. 

He may be the shortest brother out of the Walters boys but he sure has a big love and compassion for others. Only one more year till he has lived 2 decades. Where did all the years go??? 

How lucky am I?

I have constantly been thinking about how lucky I am. Growing up, so many doors were shut on me. I was told I had limitations. I was warned about how slow things would come to me if they would ever come at all.

Now I look at myself at age 20 almost 21. Here's a brief list of all my accomplishments I have made so far that at one time, many thought would come much later, if ever at all.

1. Work in the Special Ed Department at SCHS
2. Coaching Varsity Woman's Basketball as an Assistant
3. Got my Driver's Permit
4. Have gone a full year so far off medication.
5. Dixie Spirit Award
6. Mr. Dixie Pageant
7. Started Coaching Basketball at age 15
8. Mr. Warrior runner-up
9. SC Warrior Spirit award
10. Graduated High School in 2011
11. Moved out of my mom's at age 19
12. Freshmen Basketball Team Shooting Guard

So as you can see, I've accomplished many things so far. My life has been going up and up and up the last 5 years. I truly felt that things started going up when Dwain Schallenberger accepted me on the team. He was, who I personally felt, the first person to tell me I could do anything. He didn't believe I had as many limitations as people or myself believed I had.

 After I graduated High School, things started going down again. I developed a medical condition that I felt was fatal. Not being able to have full control of my body for a year and a half was the worst thing I ever experienced. However, I am grateful that illness happened. If it hadn't happened, I don't think I would have as much faith and trust in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as I do now. While I was dealing with those Tourette's, I was constantly going from doctor to doctor and just getting worse. Jon Graf came in and gave me great advice. I won't give out all the details of what he told me because I don't want to start any conspiracy, but it was all about putting trust in Christ and myself as well. If you want to know more details, feel free to ask me personally.

For a while, I didn't take his advice. It sounded to risky and to good to be true. However a lot like a hopeful Father, he kept coming back. He never quit loving me and hoping the best for me. Eventually I got so sick that I couldn't hold food in my stomach. I read Mark 5 in the bible and read about that woman who had a blood related illness. She had a similar story to me getting worse and worse. She told herself if she can just touch Christ's clothes, she could be whole again. Jesus recognized even though he was constantly bumped and rubbed going through that ally. His disciples told him he was being bumped constantly and asked "why was this touch so different". This woman had faith and intended to reach for him and being the loving Savior he is recognized through her faith. "Thy faith has made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague." That revealed to me personally that I needed to do the same thing. He wasn't there physically but I practiced faith with help from Jon's father Jan, that he is still there waiting to be reached to spiritually. When I practiced this and went through all the steps Jan told me to go through, the tourette's, the anxiety disorder, and anything else seemed to stop as if someone flicked a light switch and turned them off. Since that point of my life, I have never denied Christ and how powerful he truly is. I have developed a testimony in him. I feel I can't deny him for that moment I had with him. I can't say I haven't questioned certain teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but I never questioned, is Christ really there. I know he is. I know he loves me to no end and is ready to listen to my prayers if I continue to be faithful.

Now when I look at myself in the mirror, not to sound like Mulan or anything, I see a man who is happy, confident, faithful, and is ready to face any challenge that faces him while a while ago, I would've, figuratively speaking, bowed down to that challenge out of fear that I was incapable of doing such things.  I am constantly climbing the mountain. The rough parts don't scare me any more. Instead I work harder because I've seen the big picture of what I want to accomplish and that goal motivates me to keep going. One of those is college. I have my moments where I want to put off that homework assignment but when I remember why I'm there, I choose to keep going.

So am I a lucky person? I'd say I'm more blessed than lucky. This was mean't to happen! Heavenly Father was just waiting for the right moment to bring these opportunities.